Six things you could be doing when you book a cook

1.      Blow drying your hair. Properly. Into an actual style.

2.      Having actual conversations rather than: “How interesting, so is that the first exhibition since she came back from hang on I just realised I need to take the souffles out sorry top yourselves up hold that thought I’m going to put the broccoli on as well back in a sec…”

3.      Wearing an outfit that doesn’t smell of lamb fat/cabbage/lardons.

4.      Spending time playing with your children rather than tricking them into being your sous chef and getting annoyed when they get wise to your ploy and start whining, having only peeled half a potato.

5.      Bathing in essential oils with a good book, glass of wine and a Dyptique candle – knowing that dinner will still be served, and it’ll be a triumph anyway.

6.      Enjoying a pristine kitchen in the morning – rather than stumbling in with a mean hangover, and having to muck out an unholy mess of pans with pasta clinging to the insides and tumblers with cigarette butts in them.